How can you understand if there's a relationship going on or just a thing?

The last time I was in a relationship feels like million light years away right now and I just realised that there is absolutely nothing I remember about being a girlfriend! How do you know when you have become someone's lover or just friends that hang out more often!?

I was 12 when a guy first asked me out. I had this little tiny mobile and suddenly got a text saying would you like to be my girlfriend with hearts all over it. That boosted my ego up at that moment but the love story didn't last long. 2 days after the mad love, I broke up with him because he wanted to hold hands at school and that was too much for me! Not much changed since then, my boundaries still exist but they have stretched a little bit and by a little bit I mean a lot..And no my trust issues have not improved at all but got worse!

When I was 15 I thought I found my soul mate, the love of my life and my future hubby. Oh dear, now I can see how naive I was back then! We met online as he was a cousin of my friend's, talked for months, he said he "loved" me. I did not know at that point either if we were together or not. It was after a month when he asked me "So, are you my girlfriend now?" finally taking the hints! I just answered saying you haven't asked me out yet and then we settled the bases for the three year relationship.. I could say that those were the happiest days of my 21 years.. Of course that ended in misery as well, by him cheating on me with my best-friend! BADAMTIS! 3 years of loneliness and failed attempts of relationships after that..

Basically, since I was 18 I spent most of my time trying to find the perfect love again.. Until I realised, there was no such thing! All of my attempts in love failed miserably, just when I thought something  good was going to happen, it shattered down! As if something was just bugging my life and trying to ruin every good thing about it! Finally, this year I met someone that I like.. And now I am in a situation where I cannot stop thinking, what if I ruin it again? Where is this going? When will I know if he really likes me or just having fun with me? Most people say that when you know, you know. However, I  question everything instead of living in the moment and then I cry. I don't want this to end in misery as well.. I just want to know, if everything will be fine..